I 'm not feeling particularly well today,mentally. I hate it when I 'm like this. It's completely nuts.
Here's the thing. Despite my wish and poor will, I always wake late on a sunday morning and I hate myself for that because I really wish I could get up early. I have enrolled in this GATE coaching class and the classes are held on sundays. But the lazy me always gets the better of me and I don't go to the classes much.
I have attended the classes only a handful of times. I despise myself when I think about it. The worst thing is that I paid the fee in full amount last year itself because I hoped that it would motivate me to go to the classes regularly. But that didn't happen. I feel like I just took twenty thousand of my pop's money and flushed it down the drain.
I 'm not preparing for the gate exams as well. Now that I think about it, I think I just joined GATE classes to make myself feel better, so that I wouldn't feel like I 'm wasting my time when others were preparing for some stuff like MS, CAT, Group 1, etc. I wasn't very clear of my goals.
It is actually good that I registered for GATE. But me not preparing for it makes me go mad. It's boiling inside me. I was fine before I started typing this. I was keeping myself busy with games and movies that I was able to overlook the guilt. Right now, I 'm super guilty since I started typing this and explaining it. I don't know what would make me calm myself other thatn preparing for the exams,
I 'm just not able to do that. I 'm feeling very lazy to even think about it. I keep procrastinating. I 'm beginning to think that I may never really prepare for GATE.
I have just made my decision, I 'm gonna have to make a time table( although I won't do it because I would barely stick to it and hence I waste of time). But tonight, I definitely have to start learning something.
I think m writing is beginning to be sloppy and also I 'm babbling out a lot. I 'm going to stop this.
For the rest of the day, I shall be going to the church in the evening and hopefully study in the night. That about sums up my plans for today.
Just the same normal guilt driven sunday with many decisions that I never follow.
Here's the thing. Despite my wish and poor will, I always wake late on a sunday morning and I hate myself for that because I really wish I could get up early. I have enrolled in this GATE coaching class and the classes are held on sundays. But the lazy me always gets the better of me and I don't go to the classes much.
I have attended the classes only a handful of times. I despise myself when I think about it. The worst thing is that I paid the fee in full amount last year itself because I hoped that it would motivate me to go to the classes regularly. But that didn't happen. I feel like I just took twenty thousand of my pop's money and flushed it down the drain.
I 'm not preparing for the gate exams as well. Now that I think about it, I think I just joined GATE classes to make myself feel better, so that I wouldn't feel like I 'm wasting my time when others were preparing for some stuff like MS, CAT, Group 1, etc. I wasn't very clear of my goals.
It is actually good that I registered for GATE. But me not preparing for it makes me go mad. It's boiling inside me. I was fine before I started typing this. I was keeping myself busy with games and movies that I was able to overlook the guilt. Right now, I 'm super guilty since I started typing this and explaining it. I don't know what would make me calm myself other thatn preparing for the exams,
I 'm just not able to do that. I 'm feeling very lazy to even think about it. I keep procrastinating. I 'm beginning to think that I may never really prepare for GATE.
I have just made my decision, I 'm gonna have to make a time table( although I won't do it because I would barely stick to it and hence I waste of time). But tonight, I definitely have to start learning something.
I think m writing is beginning to be sloppy and also I 'm babbling out a lot. I 'm going to stop this.
For the rest of the day, I shall be going to the church in the evening and hopefully study in the night. That about sums up my plans for today.
Just the same normal guilt driven sunday with many decisions that I never follow.